To be honest- I started writing this 3 days ago, when Kerry Kennedy announced that her mother, Ethel Kennedy had suffered a stroke. Given that Ethel was 96, it felt like this turn of events was likely signaling the end. The end. What an odd turn of phrase. Life and existence in all of its philosophical questions is an interesting thing. Some of us will have long ones, other short. What’s left in between? The infamous “dash” I suppose. The punctuation mark on our graves that represents all that we ever did and ever were bookended between our birth and death. Ethel Kennedy leaves behind a “dash”, in her 96 years the rest of us could never begin to process. A woman who came from privilege, yet had more than her fair share of tragedy. I’m sure mention of an OG Kennedy member struggling from hardship would set the haters a fire. A member of a prodigiously powerful family, how could she get the regular people? Anyone who could have this impression of Ethel though needs to educate themselves.

In reality, Ethel Kennedy was a force to be reckoned with that the world will never see again- because quite frankly the world doesn’t produce people like her anymore. Ethel Kennedy experienced more loss in her life than most people would two times over. Her parents were killed in a plane crash, her brother in law’s assassination one of the most famous crimes in human history, followed only a few years later by her husband’s. When questioned about her life characterized by extreme loss, her only response was “ no one gets a free pass”. It was said without sadness, without anger, almost as if Ethel understood a different aspect of this loop around the sun we call life. That she found some understanding through grief and pain.

Bobby and Ethel weren’t Jack and Jackie. Comfortable, adoring and full of laughter they’d go on to have 11 children- one Bobby would never meet. Full of practical jokes, nightly current events quizzes around the dinner table and all the cutthroat competitive sports you could ask for, Ethel and Bobby were hands on parents to their brood. Of those 11, Ethel had already buried 2, on top of managing other tragedies, such as the death of her infamous nephew JFK Jr. (en-route to her daughters wedding no less), the suicide of a granddaughter and the drowning death of another. She also has had to take charge of the troops and be the voice of reason with scandals and bad behavior.

Instead of adapting a victim mindset, she dug in, turned her to faith and came out a stronger person in the end. Her trauma wasn’t any less, nor her depression or anxiety but she channeled her grief into making a difference worldwide. Traveling extensively after her children were grown, she created hardworking foundations and missions across the globe in the name of human rights. She also created and solidified the legacy of RFK. Robert Frances Kennedy was 42 when he died in 1968. Ethel and her children would live longer without him than they did with him. Bobby was an amazing compassionate person who would have and should have changed the world. Never getting the opportunity, Ethel took it and ran with it making his name and values synonymous with progress and compassion. She created a figure of Bobby that looks larger than life, one we find inspirational and hopeful. We have better sense of RFK today because Ethel worked tirelessly to make sure we did. She worked in that same vain towards all of his goals to “make gentle the life of the world”. Yet, in her time here , she was constantly compared to Jackie, or Jackie’s wardrobe, ignoring or diminishing what she did and who she was. Why do we do these things?

She’ll always be known as Mrs.Kennedy, or Robert F.Kennedy’s wife, but Ethel was a storm on her own. Faithful, rooted, selfless and tenacious her loss will leave an unbalance in the universe as generations get further and further from the critical values of civic virtue that she espoused. With her goes a generation of people who put others first, especially through public service, who understood solutions over problems and that grit is a hell of a medicine for life! From investing in the rehabilitation of the Bedford Styvesant projects when no one else cared, or breaking a fast with Caesar Chavez- Ethel has showed up, and largely with little credit.

The end of an era, but a life that created a legacy we should all hope to emulate in lieu of the influencers and fake celebrities that push more narcissism and disorder in a world that needs empathy, compassion and emotional intelligence. Ethel should be studied, read about and talked about more than she is and as humanitarian in her own right. No one is perfect, but she is an example of what a tough woman can do. She is what as women we should strive to be- not these hollow, superficial examples that exist in front of us today. An incredible “dash” to say the least.

Thank you, Mrs.Kennedy. May we create a lasting legacy worthy of your spirit in the way that you tirelessly created them for others.

After 56 years of daily heartbreak, we’re so happy that you’ll see Bobby again. I’m sure as he did in life, he’ll tell you how proud he is of all that you’ve done to make the world a better place, perhaps even besting his vision of a gentle world that he was unable to complete.

Ethel Skakel Kennedy April 11, 1928- October 10, 2024